Weddings & Salvation

Location: Dalaran
Lunar Phase: Unknown; blizzard approaching.
Journal,

I can't quite recall all of what happened last night. I have bits and pieces of it… and these gaps in my memory are becoming more and more frequent, and inconvenient all the same. But I am sure what transpired last night was of my own doing.

I was invited to a wedding. Or rather, the renewal of vows by one Grixxis Dominus and his wife, Jossilyn. I find weddings uncomfortable and upsetting. I drank. I drank a great deal, perhaps too much. I only vaguely remember finding my way to Old Town and finding Mister Alito. There was some redheaded girl he was talking with. I chased her away.

I took Mister Alito back to Dalaran. My intention of this, in the beginning, was not sex as it had been in the past. I knew how drunk I was. I knew how upset I was. I didn't want to be left alone, I knew I would hurt myself. I needed someone I trusted present to make sure that I did not beat myself into unconsciousness, and then death.

I beat myself anyway, apparently. When I awoke with Mister Alito, naked, my bed, myself, and he were smeared with blood. I can only assume that it came from the three long marks on my back. I will not have the wounds healed, I want to continue to feel like this. To suffer as the terrible wretch I am. The kiss of the whip, the sting of my flesh and shedding of my blood will be my salvation…


He's gone now, though. Left not long ago to be with that twit girl he is marrying. Miss Dray is completely undeserving of everything that Mister Alito gives her. She is not innately great. She will be only great because Mister Alito spoon feeds it to her and keeps her coin purse full. Everything I have achieved I have done through my own power, skill and determination.

I hate her.

I hate the fact that he is marrying her. And I get to be the mistress with the walking icicle of an undead husband, and womanizing, cowardly fool of an ex.



I have half of a bottle of whiskey. Dwarven, from the Highlands. It is still morning. Do I drink now, or save it until later…?



--F.P.